Real Analysis Within
Life is unpredictable. Life is uncontrollable. There are good days, bad times, beautiful moments and the darkest midnight hours. You can’t stop it, manage it, nor contain it. It just exist. It’s the cause and effect of events that proceeds despite the intentions and opinions of mankind. But (thank God for the “but”)…there is a place in us that we have absolute and total control over. We have the power to control the outflow of our emotional epicenter. We have the divine opportunity to be master conductors of our internal realm of existence, the invisible realm that is as real as the air we breathe, as real as the gravity that keeps us grounded in the present moment.
Thirty-six years of existence left me weary, dry, and discouraged from my failures of not keeping life in “balance”. I felt like a boat on the waters of life, drifting and floating with what life gave me. My emotions were sea sick from the constant swaying with no anchor that I could throw down to keep me stationary. However, thirty-six years was enough for me to finally do the unthinkable….to truly look…gaze…intentionally stare at me entirely. My life coach asked “What would it be like to believe your voice matters?” My immediate thought, “No one wants to hear my voice!” Yet, someone wanted to hear me and that is why she asked. I thought maybe my voice needed to say something about the “Black Lives Matter” movement or the “Covid-19 pandemic” or maybe about the stresses of being a dentist. Despite the turmoil and oppression occurring around me, I could not help but see the internal war that I go through every day my eyes open. How can I speak about the deaths and riots happening around me, when I constantly fight and torment myself as if I’m an intruder in my own home being shot dead because of the presumptions of my guilty conscious? How can I speak about a deadly virus when I constantly house suicidal pollutants in my lungs that suffocates all the air out of my heart and leaves me soul depleted, anemic, and susceptible to the plans of death? Change had to begin in me. And it happened so quickly as if I had been waiting on this exact moment of destiny to finally arrive. I opened that door with my first writing in this collection and I have not stopped since June 6, 2020.
Thank you for taking the time to be with me on this written journey of self-analysis. My fervent hope is that it will inspire and ignite that bomb of change in you as we all evolve from the old to transformational glory. Let’s begin my story.
Volume I
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